HappYness ------------------> why?

.. i need more time for the blogging/website transition, until then xanga for now.

But yeah, scary thing as I was commuting to work and now at work... it's scary how human I really am, how easy it is to be "of this world".  The need for affection, the need for security, the need to feel appreciated and like everyone else... the so called need for always more.  More time, more relationships, more "stuff" and how can we ever forget... more money.

And with this world, it almost seems like all of society is trying to make you do one thing... which is the so called,  "be in the pursuit of happyness" (yess with a big Y --> WHY), the need for MORE.  Cause taking the public transit isn't "cool", having ok clothes is not really OK, having some money is not having A LOT of money and being you just isn't enough.

It seems we have lost our way, our human nature.  To really appreciate the simple things in life.. good company, having a nice SIMPLE dinner together and realizing just how fortunate we are.. with what 90% of the world don't have, we take with an undeniable question.  We take and yet we don't appreciate it... nor do we even care.  Where have WE gone wrongg... the things we have placed such great value on. 

As our youth grow up and even US, the generation of today and the future... are we only gonna dictate more of this uncontrollable need for MORE, or will we come back to the basics, the simple things in life?  Where a simple smile or talk with a friend can almost ultimately change the mood of our current state.. or must we have the newest cellphone, the most expensive clothes and look like we're walking A&F models in order to feel just a little bit more happier.  Ohh wait, I forgot the brand new spanking car.. wait wait, cross that out.... come on down, you have just got a BRAND NEW BMW!!!!

I hope my skin gets a just a little tougher and my mind becomes just a little bit stronger... I don't wanna fall prey to the 24/7 attack of HAPPYNESS.  Why do I need more when most of us have MORE than what we really need or have yet to even realize. 

HappYness ------------------> why?

this may be the last blog on xanga..

Gonna try and do some blogging else where or on a different medium.  But interesting times ahead... trying times ahead.  Will definitely blog more on this another time.  I know He counts on me a lot, cause He has made me strong.  I just hope I can make Him proud, not just once in a while.. but throughout my life.

Holy, You are still holy
Even when the darkness surrounds my life
Sovereign, You are still sovereign
Even when confusion has blinded my eyes

Lord, I don't deserve Your kind affection
When my unbelief has kept me from Your touch
I want my life to be a pure reflection
Of Your love

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lord, I don't deserve your tender patience
When my unbelief has kept me from Your truth
I want my life to be a sweet devotion
To You

He expects more out of me, not because I'm stronger, smarter or better... He expects more out of me cause I'm His son.  May I listen to You moree, not less.  May I actually be transformed, not just changed.  Cause in reality, He expects us all to be transformed, not changed.

I must be less, so You can be more.  I'm sorry for all the wrong I have done, for relying on my own strengths, my skills, my smarts... and relying less and less on faith.  I'm at your mercy right now, may Your presence and grace be upon me now.  These hands are Yours, teach them to serve as You please... may my soul rest assured in You. 

all I really wanna say is thank you to everyone.  For all their prayers and encouragement. 

It really means the world to me, I appreciate it.  God has answered my prayers, thank you.